Friday, January 20, 2012

My Job: Short Story

Intense eyes hovered within inches of mine, hungry for the kill. Darkly, powerfully, horrifically, he preyed upon my youth, devouring my innocence as the whiskers on his chin tickled my cheek. My arms were pinned down. I could not move. Our pulses raced and my predator consummated his bestial desires, and my mind strayed in and out of his hungry claws till it was torn ferociously and my humanity ripped away. Pain struck my body repeatedly. I could not breathe. My body was consumed and I was trapped.
I wanted it to stop.
As hard as I tried though, the pain continued.
I tried screaming out.

Nobody could hear me.


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The phone was ringing as I slowly rolled out of bed and trudged over to where the phone sits in its charger.
I picked up the phone and I sat down on the broken couch in my apartment. I stared at the half packed suit case sitting across the room, as a husky voice came from the other end of the phone.
Before I knew it I was off to another job. This one sounded much wealthier than the last few. There could be something I could grab after I was through with the job as well.
That’s all it was.

A job.

Nothing else.

I grabbed the half packed suitcase, and put the few other belongings I kept with me in it.
I threw the coffee container of money that I keep for short notice at the bottom of the bag, along with the leather pouch I kept under the mattress of my bed.

I hurried out of the door, and rushed to the bus station.
I sat alone watching people keep moving on and off the bus. Moving on to what was next in their life.

I sat alone.
Soon the bus stopped and I got off.


He was definitely wealthy.
When he opened the door to the hotel suite, he wore a black suit and black tie.
His face was shaved and very official looking. He stood tall, with an alluring confidence swirling around him. The scent of cologne was overwhelming as I stepped past him and into the suite.
Behind him was a long line of white carpet leading to a vintage couch framed by two gold lamps sitting on tables that held little silver trinkets.
He lead me to a large room, where a king size bed sat in the middle of the room with black silk sheets.

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I woke up an hour later on the bed next to the man. I think his name was George….or something dignified like that.
I flipped over and spotted a wad of money sitting on the dark nightstand. I slowly got out of the bed, and grabbed my belongings. I took the money and tossed it in the coffee container at the bottom of my bag.
I grabbed the leather pouch next to the container and slid it out.

I grabbed the sheer knife that lay inside of it and watched it as my reflection came into view on the blade.



Just another Job.

I kept telling myself that.


I slithered over to the bed where George laid. Totally bare and vulnerable to anything that could happen to him.
Just like I was.
But now it’s his turn.

I took the knife brought it up over my head, hovering it over his body as he breathed heavily. His arms were pinned against the bed, trapped under several layers of sheets wrapped around his arms and legs.


I watched as the scent of blood seduced the room into darkness.

There was a gasp from his lips…then nothing.

I slashed it right through his chest.

His eyes opened at the puncture, and the last thing he saw before he died was the pain I felt all those years ago as everything about me that was pure was stripped away.
Now he knows what it’s like to be used.


I threw the knife in the leather pouch and tossed it in my bag, and left the room.
As I walked down the hallway to the elevator I could feel someone behind me.
I turned around. It was a little girl.
She couldn’t be older that nearly 6 or 7.
Does she know?
How could she know? She wasn’t even there. I cleaned up everything, there shouldn’t be any evidence.
The girl smiled up at me with her small adolescent face. I tried to smile back, but as her eyes stared me down, I felt a tinge at my entire body. It was like being stabbed in the stomach and I was ready to fall over.

I fled from the girl and into the elevator.

Before I knew it I was out of the door of the hotel running.

As I opened the doors a gush of wind rushed through my hair and flung it back at my face. I made a rush onto the pavement. I pulled my coat tightly around my unsteady body, and made my way to the train station.

I crossed a group of college students laughing. They stopped when I came near. Their eyes watched me as I passed starring me down with intensity.

How could it be that everything I had done had already been found out?
I covered my tracks well enough. Or at least I thought I had.
I’ve been working this job for too long to have it destroyed here.


The train station entrance opened up to me like a pathway to heaven. A few more hours and I could be out of the city on my way to a new life.
The clatter of footsteps moved around me and awakened every sense in my body.

What if the cops are after me now? Did that little girl tell them something? Where do I go?


I went to the ticket window, and bought the cheapest ticket I could get. The plan was just to get out of the city and then worry about getting out of the state.
I had about fifteen minutes before I had to be on my train.

I sat down at a bench and tossed my suitcase on the floor next to me. I didn’t realize how much my breath has shortened in the last few minutes.
I then relaxed back into the bench, and soon released my tension at the remembrance of the deed.
It was done, and there should be nothing to worry about.
Breathe.

I kept telling myself that.



Before I knew it I had dozed off. It didn’t think I slept more than 5 minutes.
I checked the time; I had about 2 minutes before I needed to be on the train. I gathered myself.
I reached down for my suitcase, and hit someone’s hand along the way.
The long fingers lashed out towards my bag.
I looked up and a man with dark eyes starred back. Devouring anything it could take. Ready to kill.

I snatched my bag but those dark eyes continued to reach for it. I quickly tried to unzipped the bag while struggling to pull it out of the man’s reach.
I tried to grab the leather pouch at the bottom of my bag, while noticing that nobody was coming to help me.
I growled at the man and tried screaming out, but nobody even bothered to look over as I was struggling for everything I have.

I grabbed the pouch, and grabbed the knife out swiftly. I closed my eyes and struck. I heard a howl, and felt heavy weight against the knife.

My eyes fluttered open.

I looked around, and the man was gone.
I looked down and my suitcase was still sitting there.



As if nothing had happened.



I looked next to me to where the knife sat on the bench.
The dark blood was settling into a deep puddle beneath it.

As I watched the puddle grow, and noticed that my hand was covered in the blood.
My view gravitated to my other hand that lay on my stomach.
I lifted my hand and continued to watch blood pool at my finger tips.
My shirt started drowning in the blood that was pouring out of me.

I looked up while people stopped and starred in amazement.

I smiled.



Breathe.




I kept telling myself that.

8 comments:

  1. I thought your essay was sort of creepy but thats what made it really cool as well. You made your character sound so crazy as well, which I thought was interesting. Lastly I thought your diction was amazing, especially when you described every detail, for example "the blood". Overall nice job:)

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  2. I really loved your diction in the beginning, however sometimes I felt you rushed through the piece, telling instead of showing like Mrs. Woods talked about. Also a few verb tenses didn't match, like the present tense thrown into a past tense story. Overall, I loved your idea, haha I agree with Tyler, definitely creepy, almost like Criminal Minds or something!

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  3. This was done very well! I agree with the fact that every once and a while some of the verb tenses would not match up- but other than that the intensity was very intriguing and I enjoyed reading this!

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  4. Great story! A lot of imagery was used and it affected the stroy very well. The only thing that could have been done better was eliminating a couple of fragments that were here and there. Overall a very interesting story!

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  5. It gets better evert time I read it...very nicely done Becky! It was crafted wonderfully and paints a vivid image in your mind. Incredibly dark but at the same time the darkness is what gives it its brilliance! You had a few verb mess ups but it did not take away from teh brilliance of the story.

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  6. Your story was trully a work of art, even if it was, in a creepy way. Diction was huge here, and you kept with not using to many words, really nice job on that. Perhaps flow could have been improved upon, but really, it was just an overall great piece of artwork :).

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  7. I really liked the imagery in the beginning of your story. I think that you have transformed from the beginning of the year to now into a fabulous writer. However I think your piece could have flowed better.

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  8. I liked how gross you made the beginning sound with your diction and word choice. I also like your overall theme of the blood growing and almost drowning her. I like the way you used line spacing to add effect to the way your story is read like at the end. You really made the reader almost go along with the narrator(I don't know if you said her name) even though she was killing. It really illuminates this terrible problem we have circling humanity. I'd say one thing you should work on is your sentence flow and syntax. I also wasn't really sure where your mimic lines were. But overall, great job Becky!

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